Faded Memories
by SVUAddict
Summary: When the Doctor is alone his mind wanders to the past. Implied 10/Rose


Title: Memories Faded

Disclaimer: I did not create nor do I own the characters of Doctor Who. I only borrow the characters to play out my weird imagination of things I think should have happened. It's just my own little world where I can play God.

Summary: When the Doctor is alone his mind wanders to the past. Implied 10/Rose

A/N: This is a one-shot. This is also my first posted Doctor Who fan fiction so please tell me how you think I'm doing.

After my picture fades and darkness has  
Turned to gray  
Watching through windows - you're wondering  
If I'm OK

For the last year the Doctor had been trying to fill any little moment with something to do no matter how trivial it was. He didn't want the memory of his lost love to break him down. He had almost let his pain win out his destiny. That was when Donna Noble came into his life. Whether she knew it or not she had saved his life. Though even Donna knew that their would neveer be anything between the two it was a confort to know she was there. Now she was with her Mom and Grandfather for a quick visit and the Doctor sat in his Tardis all alone. There was nothing to distract him now. There wasn't a place in the Tardis that didn't remind him of Rose Tyler, the girl who stole his hearts. The Doctor had had many different companions in his life and all through his ten regenerations, but in all his travels he had never found anyone like Rose. She was different and Rose knew it. The Doctor clutched a faded picture of Rose. It was the only picture he had ever been able to take of her. It was on one of their trips to new earth and they had been sitting on a blanket. Rose surprised him by pulling out a camera before leaning in to caputere a picture of herself with the Doctor. The Doctor had seen so many horirble things in his life. He was the sole reason for the end of the time war. But in that moment all the bad things had melted away as Rose leaned her head on his and they grinne brightly into the camera. He often wished he could go back to the moment and just get up the courage to tell her how he felt. That was what he regretted the most. He had never had the courage to tell her that he loved her. Even when he knew there was no more time left as he stood on the beach in a holographic form with Rose standing in front of him for the last time. He had wasted too much time telling her how he felt. The words still haunted him. He wished there was a way to let her know. He had no idea if she ever realized, though a part of him told himself she had always known. Words weren't the only way to tell someone you loved them. Action always spoke louder then words. The Doctor sighed as he put the picture back in the drawer where he kept some little things that reminded him of Rose.

"Whereever you are," the Doctor whispered to the photo, "I hope your okay."

He headed down the hall to the room that had been Rose's. The room was still a mess as her clothes were thrown about the place and other important things Rose insisted she take were littered about the room. It was the same as she left it a year ago. He hadn't wanted to change a thing just in case she came back. He knew realistiaclly there was no hope that she would ever return to him, but the other half that was deeply in love with her needed that hope to hold onto. He needed that hope to live each day. Without that hope he didn't think he would be able to go on through the world knowing that he would never see the love of his life again. The Doctor stood in the door way and remembered every detail there was about his love. He remembered what happened when Rose had insisted they take a break and just have a day to themselves. She even suggested watching movies. Seeing as Rose had the only room in the Tardis that had a TV they had lounged on her bed with various snacks in front of them as they watched all of Rose's favorite movies. The Doctor remembered that he hadn't cared what they watched. Though he hadn't told Rose that, he was the happeist when after they had gone through the snacks she had rested her head on his shoulder as they watched the movie. He didn't even watch the movie like she thought. Instead his eyes were on the beautiful blonde that was in his arms. They fell asleep like that making it the best day in the Doctor's very long life.

"You miss her don't you?"

Donna's voice startled the Doctor. He hadn't realized that he had been standing in the doorway to Rose's room for so long. The Doctor could only nodd his head slightly without taking his eyes of the room. This was one of the few rare moments that Donna had been able to see the scared lonely Doctor. He had tried to hide it deep down so that even he couldn't see it. The Doctor slowly backed out of the room and closed the door. He mentally shut all the pain and all the memories away behind in a door in his mind. As the door closed in his mind he turned to Donna with a grin.

"So where to next?" The Doctor exclaimed as he rushed back to the main room, "Rome? Nah maybe we'll go into the future or the past even."

Donna followed the Doctor as he rambled about the different places he was thinking they should visit next.

"You're going to have to face this sooner or later," Donna told him, "Bottling up your emotions isn't healthy."

The Doctor's face darkened a bit. He stopped talking and he leaned against the main console.

"I'm not ready," the Doctor told her in a low voice, "I promise when I'm ready I wil."

Donna understood what the Doctor was trying to say. Instead of pusing him to talk about what he was feeling she decided she would just get him back into wanting to go somewhere. She added to his ramblings about places she had always wanted to go. Soon the destination was picked and the Doctor was back to his old self. Though he would never be the same Doctor Rose had known it sure was close.

A/N: I know this was short, but it's just a preperation of what is going to be going on my longer story that I'm writing. This is a one shot, but it's a companion piece to the next story I will be writing. Hope you enjoy it. Please, Please, Please reveiew and tell me what you think.


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